In this moment I feel like I am a small boat in a big sea without a rudder. Yep! I feel lost. Lord knows I have been here before and probably will again, but it feels lonely at best.
I hurt my body, mind and spirit when I am like this.
I eat poorly, sleep badly and it makes me feel like crap. The carb cravings are creating crazy mood swings. I am getting little to no exercise as I am only just starting to walk on my foot again. I am not able to balance out my misery. Incredibly I am not that much fun to be around.
Yuk, what a pity party I am having. I actually want to say the words … I hate myself.
A couple of weeks ago I had some of the busiest times I have had since last fall. It was great. I presented my Fearless Living Keynote for the first time and I was co-creating and co-leading with three very different colleagues on three very different workshop topics. I was starting to be seen in my city as a leadership professional. I was generating a buzz.
I was in the ZONE.
I can’t believe the difference between then and now. Where did it all go?
I am about to step away from business for three weeks. That is a difficult but all important time for many entrepreneurs; when to wind down some business, decide what business can be put on hold, and create future work to come home to. Then of course there are the exciting jobs which unfortunately come up while I am away that I would love to do.
Here is me telling on myself.
I feel equally guilty and frustrated about leaving my business (never having had kids, I have substituted my work). Long ago I fell into the solopreneur trap of my identity becoming completely wrapped up in my business.
There are two statements I have made in this blog, which are really tough to listen to…I hate myself and I feel guilty. Unfortunately, both of these are statements women make everyday and we don’t think twice about it.
Think for a moment about the energy each statement has attached to it. Now feel into your body when you say these two statements. What are you noticing?
Change: I hate myself to I love and respect myself just as I am. Change: the thought of feeling guilty for leaving to I am confidently following my heart and fulfilling my purpose whether I am at work or on leave.
Now say those two affirmations again and feel your body response in kind. Positive energy makes a difference.
I did two things; I reached out for help and I reminded myself of my affirmations. The energy shifted immediately and I moved on to bigger and better things feeling happier and healthier.
I will close with two of my favorite affirmations.
I have a great vision for my future and I will no longer allow my fears to interfere with my success.
I choose to have faith in love and release my faith in fear.
Send me a note…What are your favorite affirmations when you find yourself in moments like these?
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