Old patterns are like a comfortable pair of shoes. I always want to wear them and never want to throw them out.
I grew up craving and creating safety for myself and others around me. Old patterns do that for me. They make me feel safe. As an example I will attend a Conference and when I use the Ladies Room I will always use the same stall each time. Crazy I know but the repetition is somehow comforting and normal.
No surprise that this week during a conversation with a Therapist and we talked about my need for safety. She asked me if I had ever been treated for anxiety. I was stunned..what me anxious?
So before everyone including myself starts you call me a crack pot…I want you to consider this exert from the book FINDING SERENITY IN THE AGE OF ANXIETY by Robert Gerzon
Written in 1997, Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety dispels the myth that all anxiety is bad and reveals its long-hidden secret: There are actually three distinct, yet related, types of anxiety. As he skillfully unravels anxiety’s tangled knot, Gerzon reveals the three different strands — Toxic, Natural and Sacred Anxiety:
Toxic Anxiety, the dreaded and destructive overreaction, may result in worry, unrealistic fear, self-sabotage, relationship problems, addiction, illness, depression, panic and other symptoms. It can be transformed into emotional healing and personal growth.
Natural Anxiety, the healthy arousal that warns us of real dangers and alerts us to new opportunities, provides energy that can be harnessed to attain our goals and achieve peak performance. This anxiety can actually feel positive and enlivening as we convert it into excitement and passion.
Sacred Anxiety, the spiritual and existential aspect, represents our soul’s deepest yearning for love and meaning, our dread of death and our sense of awe and wonder at the miracle of life. When embraced, it leads us to discover our life purpose and to experience unshakable serenity amidst life’s ever-changing circumstances.
I believe this need inside of me for safety I created when I was a kid. Then over the years some pivotal things happened in my life that made me fearful. I, like everyone out there reading this blog, have made decisions that were not in my own best interest. If I could go back and undo those decisions; my life would be very different today. I wouldn’t though because those decisions made me who I am today.
When I look at the three different kids of anxiety as outlined in the book, I see I have too much of the toxic variety; therefore I don’t spend time trying to create any of the natural and sacred kinds.
This is where my growth is now….!
My invitation is to read these three types over again and ask your this question; which strand is my anxiety? Watch the video on inner talk and increasing your consciousness about anxiety.
Inner Talk Video Robert Gerzon
I have ordered Robert’s book in hopes that within its pages I will find the wisdom to understand my fanatical need for safety…and oh yes, why I use the same washroom stall.