I am excited to announce I am going to be training with Dr. Brene Brown, Author, Public Speaker & Researcher on Shame and Shame Resilience. I will be amongst the first group to go through Brene’s newly created Certified Connections Facilitator program in San Antonio, Texas based on her shame research. Shame underlies the vast majority of presenting issues that we see, yet it’s extremely difficult to address. The certification process gives facilitators the skills, knowledge, and awareness to understand shame, identify how and where it’s showing up in our work and in the lives of our clients, and how to work with clients to cultivate shame resilience so they can begin to explore the power of love, belonging, and being enough.
By entering into training such as this; it is no surprise that shame and its bedfellow blame is bubbling to the surface in my own life. I recently read a paragraph in a great book When The Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Mate … while all of us dread being blamed we all would wish to be more responsible – that is to have the ability to respond with awareness to the circumstances of our lives rather than just reacting. We want to be the authoritative person in our own lives: in charge, able to make the authentic decisions that affect us. There is no true responsibility without awareness.
Dr. Mate goes on to say … One of the weaknesses of the Western medical approach is that we have made the physician the only authority, with the patient too often a mere recipient of the treatment or cure. People are deprived of the opportunity to become truly responsible. None of us are to be blamed if we succumb to illness or death. Any one of us might succumb at any time, but the more we learn about ourselves, the less prone we are to become passive victims.
In fact, all that Dr. Mate says is true for life in general.
As a professional Coach all my clients are looking to; understand themselves more, drive their own bus (a favoured metaphor for becoming the authority in our own lives), bring unconscious decisions into consciousness, discover their life purpose and live it.
I believe, like Brene Brown believes, deeply learning about ourselves is an awareness journey that takes courage. A journey from unresolved, often unacknowledged shame into wholeness.
Our challenge is to not let shame operate unconsciously; in every breath we take, every decision we make, or limit us in how alive we live our life on this earth.
Believing we are worthy of love, of belonging in a family, at work, in our community and that we are enough is a our life’s purpose. Some women figure this out when they are young, others like myself, slowly discover bits and pieces along the way. I have made some really bad decisions for myself over the years because I did not love myself enough to to make informed decisions.
Now I know better and I choose better.
Love and Light,